Today's order: Grande Non-Fat, No-Whip, Extra-Hot Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha
Every once in a while, I say something ridiculous about how I'd love to be 18 again. I must be insane. Yes, I'd love to get back that body that, at the time, I was too self-conscious to put into a bikini (was I blind?). Yes, I'd love to get back those carefree, no responsibility days where I could do damn near anything I wanted. Yes, I'd love to once again be able to drink like a fish, stay out all night, and still make it to my 8:30 class. Those were the days.
But, hell no, I do not want to be a teenager in 2008. Too much technology.
I'm not sure how kids are surviving the teenage years during this time of instant information. Cell phones snapping pictures at your life's most inopportune moment. Instantaneous updates of Facebook or MySpace (or God knows what other site I'm not cool enough to know about) sharing with anyone and everyone you know that you just got your period all over your white pants in the hallway at school. Uploads of that unfortunate video of you doing who knows what embarrassing activity to YouTube for the whole world to see. Finding out that your boyfriend broke up with you because his status changes to "single" on Facebook. Etc., etc.
I grew up in a small town, and I can tell you that information moved very quickly. And this was before teenagers carried cell phones! But the rumour mill in my neck of the woods had nothing on what every teenaged girl or boy goes through today. I don't think I would have survived it. (Although it would have been helpful to find out that my rat of a boyfriend had been cheating on me a little sooner than I did when I was 18. He was a dog.)
My kids are only 3 and 1, but I'm already dreading what they'll have to go through when they're in jr high and high school. I have a niece who's 11, and I worry all the time about how she's doing. She's kind of the quiet and sensitive type, and I feel like she's at risk of being torn apart by the wolves.
Those of you who are parenting pre-teens and teens right now - what is it like to parent in the age of instant information? Those of you who have small kids like me, do you suffer from my problem (creating extra problems for you to worry about, as if your current problems aren't enough)? Do you think you'd survive the cut-throat world of high school if you had to do it again today?
Me? I'd be screwed. (And not in the good way.)
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
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23 comments:
I see it all the time with my students and it scares me. I'm scared of what my kids will be exposed to. I'm scared of what my kids will have access to. I'm scared of who will have access to my kids.
Sometimes it's just too much to think about!
This one I'm going to need some tea for. Back in a few...
I worry about my kids as well. I don't know if I am going to get my kids cell phones as I want to know who their friends are and when they are calling. If they have to call the home phone I may have a sense of control. it may be a false sense but oh well.
Mr Lady - I'll have one too. Earl Grey, hot.
This Mom - I like the idea of those phones that only send/receive calls to a select group of numbers. Kids, I'm sure, don't. Oh well. :)
you have NO idea.
the pressure. the drama. the instant humiliations.
and it's difficult for my 14-year-old daughter, too!
ha. i kid. i would never make it as a teen today. but then i barely made it when i WAS a teen.
I worry. My son is 5. At our neighborhood pool, after a tween party a few stragglers were in the hot tub next to me. The boys were daring the girls to flash them saying it happened all the time at parties they went to.
I can only imagine the pictures/videos/comments going around the web if that were true. Kids can be cruel. Kids with unlimited access to the web. Downright cruel.
I've got a tween, though I admit, it's a recent acquisition (six months or so. I got one of them thar fast acting baby-makers ;-P).
I do see technology as a major influence on her. She's tech savvy enough to own and operate her own DS. She plays on a number of websites on the computer, and collects toys designed to have an online component to them (Littlest Pet Shop VIPs, Webkinz, etc.)
These things take the place that would've been held by books and physical activity in my day (lo, those many years ago), and I do worry. I worry about her interest in/capacity for the English language, her interest in physical activity (which we try to promote with things like a skateboard and lessons) and social interactions.
Perhaps it's just because it's alien to us that we worry so much. Television was supposed to have ruined our generation, remember?
What my boys will be exposed to when they get older scares me all the time. Between technology, the media, TV, they can be easily influenced by it all. I hope that I give them a good base to use good judgement on making decisions. Because if not, you can bet one of their "peers" will be right there to take a picture or a video and stream it for the world to see just so they can get a few laughs on another mistake. You see garbage like that all the time.
I would have never survived as a teen in this day and age. NEVER. hell I barely survive as an adult sometimes.. :)
Wyliekat - thanks for visiting and leaving a comment! I think you're right when you say that the technology isn't as familiar for us, so we're wary of it. But, watching tv certainly didn't carry the risk of social alienation or humiliation at the hands of our peers. Those are the kinds of things I worry about.
Kim - I think you're right about trying to raise them so that they're very aware that everything they do is potentially up for public scrutiny, even if it's done in a private setting. I hope to do that with my kids.
I'd love a hot cup of Earl Grey if it's still at the table....
I am a step-mom to a tween which means that only a short eight years ago I left the teens myself..... so much as changed though.
I don't think you do your kids any favors by sheltering them entirely from the techno world we live in - although for sure controls - our computer is SMACK in the centre of the house and both my girls are FORBIDDEN to go on it with no one home.
That doesn't stop the rumor mill, the highschool online..... as Big Sis goes into junior high I so don't envy her... junior high sucks it's always sucked and it always will.... I just hope that all the technology doesn't make it that much worse.... Pray for God's hedge of protection.... that's what I do.
I coach high school softball and they can be BRUTAL!
The parents doing the best are the ones who are ON TOP of it all. The kids getting into trouble are the ones whose parents don't know what MySpace even is and can't translate text speak. Know what your kids are into and you'll have half a chance of surviving their high school experience;)
I am fairly certain I would not do well. It's actually made me consider homeschooling, which is not a choice I would've even considered when I got married almost 10 years ago.
Thanks for stopping by my place.
Jamie - I agree wholeheartedly that sheltering kids is not the answer. It's our job to teach them how to do things safely and how to cope in the real world. All you can hope for is that they don't have to learn things the hard way.
MommyCosm - thanks for visiting! I agree that part of the answer is to be an "in the know" parent. I've even seen courses offered on stuff like MySpace and Facebook for parents. You can never know too much about what your kids are doing.
Anglophile - glad you stopped by! Agreed - I'd never survive highshool today. Never.
Well, I'm not raising kids yet, but I did live through it (though even still, it's way different now) I got Facebook when it first came out and was for college students only. (my privacy settings are still set as such, so I pretend they didn't sell out) I personally refuse to get a MySpace. Honestly, it's just about being smart and teaching them to be smart. The internet and all the technology we have nowadays can be useful tools, if you're smart about how you use them.
Jaina - you've hit the nail right on the head.
Wow, thanks!
It's tough - the balancing of being strict but giving enough room for them to find themselves. My oldest is 12. She's not allowed to have a myspace or any of those other social website accounts. She hates that we won't let her because "EVERYONE HAS ONE" but oh well. We had already told her what age she'd be allowed to have one and it is definitely not 12. For the most part - she's a wonderful kid. She listens to us and doesn't talk back or complain, no matter how disappointed I know she might be about whatever we might have deprived her of. She tells me the stories of the drama her friends are having with their BOYFRIENDS - at TWELVE YEARS OLD - and she's actually glad that we won't let her have one yet. Oh my lord... I hope she stays ok with that for a long time to come!! I try to keep the lines of communication open no matter how tough the subject might be. I think that is the only way we'll survive the REAL teens years.
I'm sure I'd survive the teen years being the web junkie that I am now, but boy, I fear for my kids.
I have a good decade to go before I need to really worry, so I can relax a little until then.
My 16 year old cousin babysits for us a lot and is on the computer constantly. I finally asked her what she could be doing on myspace for so long. I just don't get it. She showed me the fake profile she created to get info out of some kid who she thinks hates her, she told me about sharing passwords so you can go onto someone's profile to view other profiles that are blocked because they aren't a friend, and the fake profiles she's added "just to see where they are planning to take it because it's sort of fun." Blah blah blah.
Too much drama.
I had a nice chat with my very adorable myspace addict cousin to make sure she was not out to seriously ruin someone's life. I didn't get that impression but I let her know that she needs to be very careful with what she does because it can come back to bite her in the ass later.
Everyone was trying to get info for one reason or another before the internet, but now these kids have so many other ways to obtain it. It's crazy.
I'm glad I grew up without the internet. I had enough things to worry about back then, the internet would have probaby gotten me in a lot trouble.
I think I would do as well as I did the first time around. Which was TERRIBLY! I graduated a year early because I hated it so much.
All the drama, cliques, and gossip. No thanks. I worry about my daughter's teen years.
Sandy - graduated a year early, huh? I knew you were one smart cookie. Smart enough to avoid a year of high school drama! Wish I'd had the sense...
Home schooling just looks better and better on a weekly basis...Seriously, I think if I had to go to high school today, I'd do the exact same thing - not go.
On the plus side, think of all of the new ways we have to keep tabs of our kids. Wy take their word for it that they are at the movies and not some party in a field? Track them by GPS! Of course, I think that might verge on stalking.... And anyway, I won't need any of that. I am never letting my children leave the house.
Trish Marie - you're so right! Once they hit puberty, I'm locking them in the basement. Why didn't I think of it sooner??
Thanks so much for dropping by and leaving a comment! I've been over to take a quick look at your blogs, and I'm planning to go back and read more (as soon as my kid stops hanging on my arm)...
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